How it should've gone: Let's Kill Hitler
by InternMaureenFromNightVale
Summary: Baisically, what the title says: How it should've gone! So, that dinner thig River ruins? It's a bunch a scenarios on how that could've/should've gone. Includes, Smurfs, Harry Potter, Chameleon Circuit, and so much more! WARNING: Severe randomness ensues.
1. Smurfs

**Hey! The one review I got to the latest chapter of 'The Doctor Drabbles' told me I should do more of these, and I have enough ideas that I can make it into a multi-chapter story :) Here goes!**

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><p><em><span>That dinner thing River breaks into, Berlin, Germany, 1938<span>_

"Delaney, Ruth! Can you _please_ behave for once?" Asked two young girls exasperated mother. The girls, Delaney and Ruth, rolled their eyes, Their 'mom' (They were adopted) had dragged them to this fancy dinner party thing, and they were bored to death. So they had started poking each other with spoons.

"Ruthie, something needs to happen so we can get out of here." Whispered Delaney, the eldest of the two.

"Agreed. Odeur de la Lulu?" Asked Ruth excitedly.

"If we do plan 39 India Alpha November Charlie Oscar Bravo Romeo Alpha. Wow that's a mouthful."

"But we don't have any boys to set it in action!"

"Uh hello! What about Hanz right here?" Whispered yelled Delaney, gesturing to their mothers friends son. He was rich, and a huge snob. And kept hitting on Delaney.

"Oh. Right. Then yes, let's!"

"Ready, phase one, launch!"

"Mom, I don't feel good." Delaney moaned, tugging on her 'mom's sleeve.

"Aw, what is it sweetie?" Asked their mother.

"I think it might be Hanz. He reeks. I don't think he's bathed in a week." She gestured to Hanz, whom she had been forced to sit next to. Her mother sniffed.

"There does seem to be a bit of a smell." Delaney's 'mom' mentioned it to Hanz' mom.

"He does smell, but there's nothing we can do about it right now." Said Hanz mom.

"Have some perfume!" Ruthie piped in. "It's _really_ good at covering up scents! We could spray some!" Ruthie held up a bottle labeled _Odeur de la Lulu_. She was about to spray the perfume, which actually smelled really bad, so while everyone else was gagging they could sneak out, when a blonde curly haired woman, with two guns and wearing clothes that didn't match the century at all, shot the doors down and burst in.

"Ladies and gentlemen," She announced. "I don't have a thing to wear." She gave a small giggle. "Take off your clothes." She pointed the guns threateningly.

"Um, ma'am?" Asked Delaney, tentatively raising her hand.

"What?"

"Yeah, I'm only 13-"

"And I'm only 10!" Cut in Ruth.

"Do we have to take off our clothes?" Finished Delaney.

"No, they wouldn't fit me. Except for that scarf. It looks fun from every angle." The woman held out her hand. Dramatically, sighing, Delaney gave her the scarf she was wearing. "Oh, and that headband!" Ruthie grumbled something about 'robbing innocent kids' and handed her the headband she had been wearing. Then the two girls began skipping off singing the Smurf theme song. "What? The Smurf's haven't even been invented yet!" Declared the woman.

"Oops. Uh...gotta go!" They rushed out onto some side street.

"That was close." Ruthie whispered, pulling a dead vortex manipulator out of Delaney's purse.

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><p><strong>I know, this is the same as the one in 'The Doctor Drabbles' Not to worry though, a new one will be up shortly :) Hye, anyone know what the words in the Plan stand for? Who ever does shall guest star in a chapter shortly after they submit the answer! :D Have fun!<strong>

**~Wolfy BD**


	2. Chameleon Circuit

**Told you I'd be back in a few ;) Now, since I've already given the explanation, Allons-y!**

**Disclaimer (Forgot this last time): I do not own: River Song/Melody Pond, Exterminate Regenerate, Chameleon Circuit in general, or a DW T-shirt (Almost!)**

**Copywright: Again, I own Ruth and Delaney. And the plot-ish thing. More of an Idea.**

**P.S. I apologize if the CC people seem OOC, I've only seen a few of Charlie's vids, and have never seen them live :'( Also, sorry if I get the singers for the songs wrong.**

_Berlin, Germany, 1938_

The brand new Melody Pond rode down the streets of Berlin on a motorcycle. _Where would I find clothes...Aha! _She spied a fancy-shmancy building. _Perfect. _Pulling over, she dismounted. Listening at the door, she heard, loud, fast music from inside. "We both carry the fire that has the power to end life, but what I do with the flame is what separates our types." _Must be some 1930's music historians never discovered. _Cocking her guns, she fired at the doors and burst through them. "Ladies and gentlemen," She announced. "I don't have a thing to wear." She gave a small giggle. "Take off your... what?..." She trailed off as the dust cleared, revealing a 20th century concert, where group of boys were onstage, one seemingly in the middle of a sentence. Slowly, the audience started to applaud, while the band still stood dumbstruck.

"Alex, who did you say gave us this gig?" Whispered the one who had been singing.

"I don't know, Some girl named Ruth and her friend...uh...I can't remember..."

"Call them please!"

"No need, we're right here!" Two girls, clearly sisters, with matching brown hair and hazel eyes, giggled simultaneously, popping up next to them. The audience was too amazed with the appearance of River Song to notice.

"Woah. How'd you do that? And why is River Song, who should be somewhere with the Doctor right now, here?"

"Why can't _anyone_ EVER remember my name?" Retorted the taller one. The band noticed she was american "It's not that hard! Delaney! Dee-Lane-ee. And don't say it's a boy name!" She growled, as Charlie opened his mouth. Alex gave them a look.

"Fine. It might have to do with this vortex manipulator-" Started the smaller gir, who was also american.

"Which he used to meet Rory two thousand years later, when the find Amy after her sleep in the box! They realize the sun is really the exploding TARDIS, Doctor saves River from the Imitatus Lavis! This woman when she's back can't point out the o-o-obvious! Oh my gosh he's wearing a fez, Oh my gosh he's wearing a fez, Oh my gosh he's wearing a fez! Ohmygoshhe'swearingafez!" Sang the taller one. **(Random! The speech thing on my typing pronoonced this Oh-my-gosh-he'sswearingafz. :) Okay, leaving now...) **At a look from the band members, they shut up.

"Why is River here?"

"We...uh...kinda sorta used our vortex manipulator to bring the whole concert to Berlin, to the building where River does the 'Take off your clothes' thing." Mumbled Delaney.

"But how-"

"You didn't notice cause we modified it! besides, we did warn you this show would have some pizzazz!" Retoted Ruth, seeing them glare at Delaney. "Besides, what Whovian doesn't want to meet River? I mean, look! The audience is...watching our conversation..." Trailed off Ruth. Apparently River had left.

"Plan 40 India Alpha November Charlie Oscar Bravo Romeo Alpha!" Screamed Delaney, pulling out a bottle of _Odeur De La Lulu_. Putting on gasmasks, the girls asked "Are you my mummy?" In sweet little british accents, then sprayed the perfume. The whole room fell down unconscious. Pressing buttons on their Vortex Manipulators, the girls, along with the concert, were transported back to 2011. "They won't remember a thing..." Muttered Ruth, hiding the evidence.

River Song slowly backed away from the hundreds of people asking her autograph, calling her Alex Kingston, or something. As she walked back through the doors, which two strange girls had magically repaired, she locked them and rushed away.

"Next time, I'll just go rob a clothing store." She muttered.

**So, how was it? The competition is still on! (Duh.) The plan was mentioned again in this chapter, just with a different number. Hope you enjoyed!**

**~Wolfy B-)**


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